August 1st, 2011
Fortune cookies, while not invented in China, are the expected end to a Chinese dinner. The sayings are inspirational, romantic, promising riches, or just downright funny. No matter what saying or prediction our cookie contains, we are excited to open them and find out. I’ve compiled some funny sayings here for you. Please feel free to comment with your own.
- He who throws dirt is losing ground.
- You can always find happiness at work on Friday.
- Do not mistake temptation for opportunity.
- A woman who seeks to be equal with men lacks ambition.
- If cookie still in one piece, play lotto.
- He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.
- Meh.
- He who laughs last thinks slow.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
- A cynic is only a frustrated optimist.
- A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind, and won’t change the subject.
- It doesn’t matter. Who is without a flaw?
- The world may be your oyster, but it doesn’t mean you’ll get its pearl.
- Flattery will go far tonight.
- The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
- The greatest danger could be your stupidity.
- He who laughs last is laughing at you.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry, and get slapped on our butt … then things get worse.
- Ignore previous fortunes.
- Help! I am being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.
- I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
- Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
- The fortune you seek is in another cookie.
- Today is probably a huge improvement over yesterday.
- Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.
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- The world may be your oyster, but it doesn’t mean you’ll get its pearl.
- A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
- A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
- Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Oops…wrong cookie!
I would like to read fortunes you’ve received. Please comment!
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July 18th, 2011
I’m not Cherokee, so I guess this really doesn’t affect me much. However, it does allow me to be objective about the problems they are having with their latest election. The results for Chief are going back and forth between incumbent Chad Smith and challenger Bill John Baker much like a tennis ball between two aggressive players.
Baker was declared the unofficial winner first, but when the election board certified the votes, it showed Smith as the winner with just a 7-vote lead. Of course, Baker wanted a recount, which I don’t blame him. The recount showed Baker as the winner with 266 votes. That’s quite a difference. There was also a difference in the total number of votes counted. Hmm.
Smith Challenged back. I don’t blame him, either. The Cherokee Tribal Court orders a count of the envelopes for absentee ballots and come up with over 300 more envelopes than ballots. Double-hmm.
They have now completed a second recount and the unofficial winner is Smith by 5 votes, however, the total number of ballots has again changed. According to a statement made by Baker in the Muskogee Phoenix, many had erasure marks and white-out on them. Triple-hmm.
It is clear that something is wrong. When someone counts the same ballots three different times and comes up with three different totals and varying tally results, something is drastically wrong. The system is broken.
In my opinion, they need to fix the election process and declare a ‘do-over’. Otherwise, the court will have to step in and declare a winner based upon the evidence it sees and possibly not what the Cherokee people want.
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July 16th, 2011 Governor Mary Fallin, according to MSNBC.com, is asking Oklahomans to pray for rain. Of course, there are many who are saying that weather doesn’t work that way. However, there are many more who knows that God is also the god of weather. Apparently Governor Fallin believes this as well as Texas Governor Rick Perry, who also asked Texans to pray for an end to the drought and heat wave.
 With several weeks of triple digit temps and/or heat indices, it is time for a break. I have been praying for a break in the temps and drought and, like Governors Fallin and Perry, I urge others to pray also.
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July 8th, 2011 The price on everything is going up. We spend more on groceries, gasoline, clothing, electricity, water, and more. We are spending more while, in most cases, our income remains flat. It seems unfair that oil companies are reaping record profits while we struggle to keep the lights on. It feels like another thump on the head when the city we live in raises their fees as well and we cry foul when that happens.
But, stop for a moment and consider that while the price on everything we purchase has risen, so has the price on everything our city has to purchase as well. The City pays more for gasoline, diesel, electricity, pavement, equipment, repairs, etc. as well.
We citizens demand services from our city. In order for the city to provide these services, they must have appropriate funds to do so.
The people cry, “The streets need to be repaired!” In order to repair the streets, the city needs money to buy asphalt and other material.
The people scream, “The city needs to do something about storm drainage to keep our streets and homes and businesses from flooding!” But, in order to make those improvements, the city needs money.
To be fair, the more buildings and parking lots and driveways there are, the fewer places that rain and water have to go to soak into the ground. When water can’t soak into the ground, it runs off. If you get enough water running off with no place to go, there is flooding. So, it only seems fair that entities that have more impervious surfaces, and, therefore create more runoff, should pay more for the City to fix the problem.
Whatever the citizens demand, the city must have funds to deliver. Bottom line is, the city hasn’t kept fees in line with inflation, so now they are having to raise fees to get them in line. However, the fact remains Muskogee still charges lower fees than most cities and towns around. Even this impervious surface fee is lower.
Nobody likes paying taxes and fees, but in order for the city to provide the services its citizens demand, taxes and fees are the primary method of funding.
Like it or not, Muskogee needs this storm water fee.
See also: Storm water fees draw torrent of protests (Muskogee Phoenix)
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May 19th, 2011 Corporate Accountability International and hundreds of health professionals are calling for McDonalds to ‘fire’ Ronald McDonald. It all stems from the epidemic of child obesity we have in this country and the fact that McDonalds markets to children.
I don’t dispute we have a problem with childhood obesity in America, but there are many things to blame for it and unhealthy eating is only one part of this problem. I also don’t dispute that McDonalds markets to children. However, instead of blaming some clown, maybe we should ask, “what is the parents’ responsibility in this?”
Companies have for years been targeting children in their marketing. Probably even more so now that parents seem to have forgotten the word – “No”. I remember well that my parents knew that word and used it often. And I’m all the better for it.
Parents nowadays are too concerned with being their child’s friend instead of the authority figure they are supposed to be. Children have enough friends. They need structure and someone to enforce boundaries and provide guidance (parents). Children will take the path of least effort unless they are nudged in the right direction. Parents need to teach their children that there are temptations in this world and how to resist them. Unfortunately, many parents also take the path of least resistance, so when their little snowflakes throw a fit, they will give in and let the child have his or her way lest the little monster be upset.
Children are faced with temptation to take the easy path every day. Television, internet, video games, and movies all provide diversion to physical activity. Easy, greasy fast food provides a quick (and fattening) meal for busy families constantly on the move. Children do not use their imaginations any more like they used to.
Unless there are parents who are not afraid to say “no, you will do this instead” or “no, you will eat this instead”, firing a clown isn’t going to do anything to assuage the obesity problem in the US.
So, parents, tell your kids they can’t eat junk food every day; tell them to go outside and play, and run, and jump; restrict their time on the television and computer and have them read a book and use their imaginations; teach them to make good choices by your own example. In short – be their parent, not their friend.
Long live Ronald McDonald!
In this post, I used the word parents to mean any adult figure in charge of raising a child be it parents, step-parents, grand-parents, aunts, uncles, guardians, foster parents … well, you get the picture.
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May 6th, 2011 Apparently, filmmaker (and I use that term loosely) Michael Moore believes that the death of bin Laden was a conspiracy. In a series of tweets allegedly by him, he made it perfectly clear he’s not happy with the way bin Laden was killed.
So, yeah, it was a conspiracy. If a conspiracy involves a group of people engaged in a secret plan to do harm to someone, then, yes, it was a conspiracy between Obama, Seal Team 6, and various others in our government.
So, I guess Mikey’s not happy, so he’s going to make another boring film that I won’t bother watching.
See Michael Moore not happy about bin Laden “Execution”
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May 5th, 2011 Sunday evening when it was announced that Osama bin Laden was killed, I think I shared the joy and relief of millions of other Americans that there was some justice done. While I don’t normally revel in another person’s demise, I have to admit that I didn’t shed a single tear over his death, heck, I didn’t even feel bad.
The royal wedding is now yesterday’s news and of no import any longer as bin Laden’s death continues to dominate. The news anchors and reporters are all clamoring to convince us how intelligent they are by telling us exactly how we tracked him down by using the cell phone signal of a courier. Personally, I think we should have kept that little tidbit to ourselves and used it again if possible. Now there are people wanting the photos of his bloody dead body published for all the world to see exactly how he died.
We should be careful, however, and not cross the line into gloating. As my dad used to say, “Don’t get cocky!” We need to remember to not get cocky. Even though the good guys won a great victory, the war against terror is far from over. We need to remember there will be reprisals and we need to be ready instead of sitting back and saying, “Look what we did.” I don’t agree with Obama very much, in fact, hardly at all, but I find myself agreeing with his decision not to release the death photos of bin Laden.
I know some photos will eventually be leaked. Someone on the assault team had a cell phone with a camera, I’m sure, but the government doesn’t need to be part of that release. We do not need the photos as a trophy of our success. We do not need to rub it in the faces of his followers as they do. We need to be better than they are, after all. We are Americans.
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April 19th, 2011 I guess the news media exists to not only disseminate the news, but also to disseminate that which is not news.
I got an alert from CNN today that said Michelle Obama’s plane had to abort its landing because it got too close to a C-17 cargo plane landing in front of it. Apparently, they were three miles apart when they were supposed to be 5 miles apart. This was not at all attributed to terrorist activity, controllers asleep at the wheel, or any other nefarious reason.
When controllers realized they were too close, they ordered Obama’s plane to go around – like they were supposed to. Neither the plane nor Obama was ever in any danger. Her plane landed with no incident. Nobody was injured, no gigantic fireball filled the sky, and there was no repeat of Biblical plagues – only a slight delay for the first lady as her plane went around to make a safe landing.
I can see the headlines tomorrow: Terrorist did not blow up a plane, The tornado did not flatten the town, The river did not overflow its banks, etc.
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March 17th, 2011 I had to take a drug test before I was hired for my job. I am subject to a drug test if I have an accident while at work, and I’m subject to random testing at any time. Being clean was a condition for employment and continued employment.
So, why aren’t people on public assistance required to submit to drug tests? If a Louisiana state representative, John LaBruzzo, has his way, 20 percent of the people on welfare would be required to pass a drug screen to continue receiving benefits. Why not? I think it’s a great idea.
Under his plan, anyone who failed a drug test would have to submit to treatment to continue benefits. If not, no money.
The need for the legislation is “that the best interests of a significant portion of the state’s population are served by ensuring that they are free of the physical and mental impairments associated with drug dependence,” reads the proposed bill.
And the aim of the bill is ensure Louisianans “are ready to work, and in order for Louisiana’s citizens to be work-ready, they must be free of drug dependence.”
More states should adopt policies that will require initial drug testing and random testing of benefit recipients and base their assistance on the results. People can lose their jobs when testing positive for drugs, which means loss of money and benefits, so why should we treat the jobless any different?
See Urine or You’re Out
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March 10th, 2011 It’s a sad fact that prices are going up, sometimes sharply. Expenses are outpacing income at a sometimes alarming rate. In such an economy, it seems that everywhere we turn, somebody’s got their hand out for more money from us. So, along with the gas pumps, grocery stores, clothing stores, and everywhere else, the City wants to raise fees.
Unfortunately, the City is not immune to the same cost increases that are plaguing private citizens. When gasoline prices go up, the City must pay more for gasoline as well. Of course, that causes higher costs for not only the fuel used in police, fire, and other city vehicles, but for everything else the City uses, too.
However, the City is not oblivious to our plight. Many fees have not increased in over a decade, even though costs of providing services and running the government has continued to increase. Many council meetings I’ve either attended or viewed shows City councilors resistant to increasing fees to the level they need to be. The most often quoted reason is that they don’t want to unduly burden citizens with fee increases. But, sometimes, increases are necessary.
However, citizens expect not only the same level of services from the City, but expect the City to provide more services in the future – services that cost money to provide.
In a perfect world, the City could eliminate taxes and fees and still provide all the services its citizens need and want. In reality, providing services costs money, money the City receives from taxes and fees.
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March 4th, 2011 According to the news, Brigham Young University is mired in controversy after suspending Brandon Davies for having sex with his girlfriend. It is a violation of their honor code which also prohibits consumption of caffeinated drinks. I’m not sure how much of a controversy it really is, or if it just the media stirring the pot and making mountains out of molehills, as they are good at doing.
The point is, Davies knew about the honor code when he chose to attend that school. He agreed to the honor code in order to attend class and play ball for them. He violated it, he’s suspended as he should be. He broke the code, he needs to suffer the consequences of such an act.
But, there are many, I suppose (from what the media is saying), who think that in this day and time, that honor code is obsolete. I say, no. While premarital sex occurs more in this day and age than any other, it is not a reason to change the beliefs and codes of a university attached to the Mormon church. If Mr. Davies didn’t want to abide by those codes, or he considered them obsolete, there are countless other universities in the United States and abroad he could attend.
Athletes need to know they are not special enough to merit exemptions from laws and rules that apply to the rest of us.
No, I think BYU is absolutely correct in sanctions against Davies and any other student who violates their rules of conduct. I say, good for you, BYU.
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March 3rd, 2011 Lawns are beginning to green, trees are putting on leaves, dead skunks are littering the roads, and… arts and craft shows. All these are signs Spring is looming.
 The Muskogee Civic Center is preparing for the Azalea Arts and Crafts Show on April 2 and 3 from 9am – 5pm. They are asking potential vendors to reserve booth space now. Call 684-6363 to secure your space.
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March 1st, 2011 There are currently at least three delusional people in the news today. Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan and Gadhafi. All three have something in common: they think they are God’s gift to the world and therefore immune to doing the right thing. They are also in denial.
 Charlie Sheen’s interview makes it clear he thinks he is the reason CBS exists today. I like Charlie Sheen as an actor, but I can’t stomach him as a person. His arrogance about, well, everything tells me is is clearly in denial. Talking about how he kicked a drug addiction in mere days when everyone else battles for years tells me that he isn’t taking things seriously. His dad even tried to help, but Charlie lashed out at him for it and talked about his “angels” – a nanny and a porn star. Okay, so that is a fantasy of most men, but that’s beside the point. He still thinks CBS will collapse without him. Not likely. Now, of course, they’ve moved a tv show I like to make room for the interview with this idiot.
From listening to ABC’s interview with Libyan leader (dictator, despot, idiot) Gadhafi, Qaddafi, Kadafi (or however they spell it this week), it is obvious this guy is disconnected from reality in a big way. While more than half of Libyans are trying to overthrow his regime, he keeps saying his people love him and will die for him. Well, the second part of that is certainly true – they will die for him, or rather because of him. He says the trouble is because they have been drugged with hallucinogens by terrorists. Really? He said that? If his people love him so much, he should walk down the streets of Zawiya alone and let his people ‘love’ him.
And Lindsay Lohan. That girl just doesn’t learn. It is apparent that she thinks she is more important than anyone else. She certainly has no regard for anyone else. She pretty much got a slap on the wrist for the DUI conviction and that certainly didn’t teach her anything. She is on probation for that and is now accused of lifting a $2500 necklace. Of course, she says she ‘borrowed’ it, but the store owner says differently. Apparently there is paperwork involved that was not done. No paperwork, no jewelry loan. That little girl needs to spend some time in the grown-up world of prison. Let’s see what happens when she ‘borrows’ something from someone there.
As for me, I’m going to the bank to ‘borrow’ a large sum of money, and, uh, hold the paperwork.
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February 28th, 2011 My wife got this recipe from a coupon page out of the paper about 10 years ago, but it is very tasty and quick and easy to make in about 17 minutes. It’s from Del Monte, so the canned tomatoes and green beans it calls for is Del Monte. So, here goes.
Ingredients
- 2 1/2 cups rotini pasta
- 12 oz chicken breast halves cut into cubes
- 1 tbsp oil
- 1 can (14.5 oz) seasoned green beans, drained
- 1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes with garlic and onion
- 1/3 cup shredded parmesan cheese
Directions
- Cook pasta according to package directions.
- Cook chicken in hot oil 3 minutes until no longer pink.
- Add green beans and undrained tomatoes. Bring to a boil; reduce heat, simmer uncovered 9 minutes or until slightly thickened.
- Add cheese and pasta; toss until coated.
Serves 4
Enjoy
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February 28th, 2011 Trouble in Libya, trouble in the middle-east, far-east, or mid-west, or maybe even trouble on the moon – whatever reason they need to jack up oil prices, and by default gasoline prices. Of course, with that, the price of everything else goes up, too.
 So, here we are with gasoline prices on the rise and the news media predicting $4 and $5 per gallon by summer (again). “Double-Dip” recession is the buzz phrase being thrown around by proud-looking talking-heads on the news, ecstatic that some of their doomsday predictions appear to be coming true.
Then, they show recycled stories about how keeping your car running properly, your tires properly inflated, and changing your driving habits can save you some money on gas all the while predicting more doomsday. They print and air even more recycled stories about grocery prices rising in its wake.
My favorite, however, has to be the news stories that basically call us Americans spoiled because we are griping about over $3/gallon gas when they are paying over $9/gallon in London and Europe. But, nobody calls Iraqis spoiled when they are paying much less than we are for the same gallon of gasoline. In any case, this American thinks he has the right to gripe about $3/gallon gasoline and rightly so. I really don’t care what they pay in Europe – I don’t live there. If I did, though, I would be griping about $9/gallon gas but I wouldn’t be down on anyone paying less – good for them.
For years we have been talking about reducing our dependence on foreign oil. I think a real good start would maybe be to stop exporting what we drill here so we don’t have to import as much. Just saying. If we really wanted to reduce that dependence, I think we could.
But, I’m just a spoiled America, what do I know?
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