MuskogeeUSA.net

Lindsay Lohan, according to reports, is suing E*Trade over a commercial she says is a parody of her.  Unless you live under a rock, I’m sure you’ve seen the E*Trade babies talk about the “milkaholic Lindsey”, but in case you haven’t it’s magically embedded in this post for your viewing pleasure.

Ms. Lohan is saying that she has the same single-name recognition as Oprah, Madonna, or Cher.  I don’t think so, sweetie.  Until now, I didn’t even THINK about associating you with the Lindsay or Lindsey or however-it’s-spelled mentioned in the ad.  Now, if the baby had said Oprah,  Madonna, or Cher, I would have immediately associated with the respective celebrity.  But Lindsay??  It is a much too popular name to be associated with only one person.

So, she thinks she is entitled to $100 million because the ad so closely resembled her that it was unquestionable (in her mind) that it was aimed at her.  Well, in my opinion, the baby is much cuter and probably a good deal more intelligent.  And, I wonder when exactly it was that she last enjoyed a glass of milk.  According to a news broadcast on KTUL-TV, because she has been in rehab for substance abuse, the “milkaholic” comment was a gig at her.

I think she is paranoid and looking for a quick, easy payday.  I hope E*Trade sticks to their guns and does not settle this frivolous lawsuit.  I further hope they pull a judge who has enough common sense to recognize this for the desperate grab that it is.  Maybe the E*Trade babies should sue her back.

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We hear about some Americans who have joined Al-Qaida and are denouncing America should get their wish.  We should give them what they want and revoke their US citizenship.  I figure Al Qaida can have our garbage.

This idea has the added bonus that as non-citizen enemies, we can treat them as combatants and, if we capture them, treat them as prisoners of war.  Since they are not citizens, we should not treat them as though they have the rights of American citizens.

That means no Miranda, no lawyers, no rights beyond the basic human rights.  It also means that we can give them a fair military trial and a swift execution.

I’m just saying…

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How does Wii Fit calculate calories?

Wii Fit uses a standard measure called metabolic equivalent of a task, or MET, to calculate the energy and effort required of each activity.  Using METs and the time you are exercising, Wii Fit can get close to the number of calories burned while exercising.  The higher the METs, the more calories burned in a given amount of time.

Now, the activities in Wii Fit don’t have the same METs as their real life counterparts, but it’s better than being a couch potato.  It can also help you meet the American Heart Association’s recommendation of a half hour of moderate activity (three to six METs) five days per week.

Lose weight while you sleep

Can you really lose weight while you sleep?  The answer is actually, yes.  No I don’t have a magic pill or formula or anything else.  The answer is exercise.  When you exercise regularly, your body will continue to burn calories and fat even when you are at rest.  So, if you are faithful in your exercise and diet, you will continue to lose weight even while you sleep.

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So, you are in an airport waiting for your next flight out and you get hungry.  So, you find a food court, get your food, set your stuff down and eat.  After eating you gather your things, except your coat, and walk away.  Sometime later, you realize that you left your coat and return to the food court only to find it missing.

Most of us would chalk that up to personal stupidity, chastise ourselves, write it off as a loss and go on about our business.  Apparently, not so as a Texas lawyer has taken personal stupidity to a new level.  In this article from The Smoking Gun, you will read about a lawyer who wants to sue everyone for his stupidity.  I only hope he gets a judge who is as tired of frivolous lawsuits as I am and sanctions his self-righteous a… butt.

And lawyers wonder why there are so many jokes about them.

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I remember when I was growing up, we lived in Oklahoma, Florida and Texas.  When we lived out of state, we would still spend the summers in Muskogee.  Then, later, I married and settled in Muskogee.  I remember the warm summer Friday nights filled with the sounds from Thunderbird Speedway.

Depending on how the wind was blowing determined the volume, but you could hear the races all over Muskogee.  I was very sad when it closed down.  Even if you weren’t at the track, it was still exciting to listen to the cars accelerate and decelerate with a popping sound.

In the meantime, Outlaw Motor Speedway opened South of Town and has gained quite a following, so the question is: Can Muskogee support a track inside city limits again?

Stanley Slader is re-opening Thunderbird this month.  Personally, I will welcome the Friday night sounds again, but I realize that some people will not, especially those living close to the fairgrounds.  It will be interesting to see what happens that first race night as far as how many people complain about the noise.

I wish Mr. Slader the best of luck in re-opening this track and I plan to attend races there again.

For more information:

• Thunderbird Speedway website
• Outlaw Motor Speedway website
• Muskogee Phoenix: Thunderbird Speedway set to re-open March 26

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